You may not realize it, but back in 2012, I made an enormous career change. And it was hard. Really, really hard. Not for the reasons you might think, though. Sure, I took a big pay cut, and yes, my new career came with less stability. But surprisingly, those weren’t the things that made the change really tough.
The hardest part? I truly believed that what I did was who I was. So when I didn’t have the high-powered, high-paying career anymore, suddenly I felt like I was no one. I lost my sense of self. I was in the midst of a very real and very turbulent identity crisis.
It took me a long time to figure out that I have merit on my own, completely independent of what I do. I was fortunate to have some truly amazing people help guide that transformation. Not everyone is so lucky.
It got me thinking about how we introduce ourselves and others. When I’m introduced these days, it usually goes something like this: “Meet Jillyn, my web designer.” Don’t get me wrong — I love what I do, and I’m grateful for my wonderful clients. But it’s rare for anyone to be truly interested in what I do now. Either they don’t understand it, or they think they totally understand it. Either way, it often results in a dead spot in the conversation.
What if, instead of introducing your friend as “Jennifer the nurse,” you started introducing her as “Jennifer, one of the most thoughtful people you know,” or “Jennifer, the friend who helped you move in when you didn’t know a soul in this city”?
Introducing your friends for who they are, rather than focusing on what they do, will remind them they are loved before and beyond their titles. It’s an easy way to show them that you see them for their hearts instead of their accomplishments.
Our resumes are just paper. I want people to know that my friend is amazing at her job, but more than that, I want people to know the stuff inside her that makes her a great friend. The qualities that make you want to stand by her at a party, hoping her thoughtful observations and quick wit might rub off on you.
Let’s stop introducing the people we love based solely on what they do, who they cash their checks from, or what’s on their LinkedIn profiles. Instead, let’s start reminding them of who they are. Let’s start conversations that don’t begin and end with who has the most interesting job in the room.
As you prepare for your next social gathering, think about how you can introduce people in a way that truly reflects their essence. It’s a small change that can make a big difference in how we connect with each other and how we view ourselves. After all, we are so much more than what we do for a living.
Networking builds an empire, but thoughtful introductions build a community. Where will you lay your bricks?
